Our pets

If you feel ready to have another cat get one. Is it that you feel disloyal to Tilly by doing so? If so, don’t feel that because there’s a little cat out there that needs you. You’ll never replace Tilly because our pets are all different and irreplaceable. When I lost my first whippet I got a whippet puppy soon after. It was Mike that wanted her, not me. Fliss used to pick up dead crabs on the beach but Hattie, the new dog, wasn’t bothered. Then, on the day that I buried Fliss’s ashes in the beach Hattie picked up a crab and brought it to me. I burst into tears and realised she was trying to say, I’m not Fliss, I’m me and we’ll love each other but in a different way. Apart from taking a year out when we lost Hattie because I wanted to travel a bit I’ve always had another pet straight away and my current dog is my world.
 
We had our beagle Cookie, and thought it would be good to help home a dog from one of the countries (Cyprus, in this case) that tend to not treat them well in general. It was really exciting to think that Cookie would have a new mate in the house.

So, the arrangements were made. We had to wait a few months till Pickle was old enough to handle the trip from Cyprus to England.

A week before Pickle was due to arrive, we lost Cookie.

That was so hard. The grief was immense. But a week later we had a new arrival (that needed a lot of care, love, and attention - Pickle was scared of her own shadow). Sure, there were times in those early months when it kind of felt disloyal. But we had to push any of those thoughts away and focus on the fact we were giving another dog a chance at having a contented life. And there's no option, once they're with you they rely on you.

Would we have chosen that path if we'd known Cookie wasn't going to make it? Possibly not, I have to say. Well, not that fast anyway. But it did teach me that would probably have been the wrong way to think about it. Cookie just wasn't here any more, and there's nothing that could have been done about that. We had that chance kind of thrust upon us to give another dog a chance, and that was the right thing to do.

And what we found, of course (and as we all know), is that it doesn't take long to reach the point where a dog or cat (I don't know anything else, so can't say) has become an intrinsic part of life where you can't imagine being without them.

You clearly have a lot to give a new arrival, Alan. Feelings of disloyalty certainly shouldn't be a part of that, although they will likely surface at times. Based on personal experience, I'd say go for it. With the knowledge you are not 'replacing' Tilly, as Tilly did not 'replace' Lucy or Rabbit Catcher. If anything, the new arrival will honour those that came before.
 
The way cats have come to you previously, EC21, I think you’ll just know when you’re ready to home a new cat. Sadly, some cats are neglected, they become homeless, and they rely upon the kindness of people like yourself to give them the life they deserve. You don’t need to go looking mate.
 
I never grew up with cats but I moved to a property with my two greyhounds which was a lodge to a big house. One of the cats down the pecking order used to frequent it when it was a holiday let and did the same when I moved in. Fortunately both my greyhounds were fine with cats (unlike the ones subsequently) and she lived with us, moving five times happily until my ex and I split and she went with him as my newer greyhound thought she was edible. We adored her and although she was the most streetwise cat you could meet, she probably went a bit deaf in her teens and was hit by a car just outside Newmarket. I was so upset. I’d seen her a few times since the split and she was always so pleased to see me.

My latest greyhound (the fifth) I got a couple of months after my old boy was pts. I think for me, it probably was a bit quick and I suddenly felt terrible guilt a few weeks afterwards. She’s completely different and I have loved everyone the same but at the time I suddenly felt like I was disrespectful to him “replacing” him so quickly.

But please don’t let that put you off. I had done similar quick times before and it hadn’t affected me quite in the same way. There are so many lovely cats out there who are desperate for a home like yours.
 

Obviously not pets but I've been following these two and their lives on the nest in California for a good couple of months now and they have such amazing personalities. If you just catch Bald Eagles on wildlife docs they generally show apex predators diving for fish and looking all fierce. They have a playful side as well though.
 
You have to do what's right for you, EC21, and you'll know what the right decision is, just as you knew it was right to stop your girl from suffering any more.

Our Oscar is more than 8 years gone now and I just know I'm not ready for 'just another pet dog'. It would have to be something pretty special and if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen.
 
Thanks for all the advice and lovely stories about your pets. I think I'm going wait until I get through this pain before making any more decisions.
 
I lost my latest cat 6 years ago now and I miss not having a cat but have a guilt trip over her that I didn't do the right thing at the end for her. A few weeks ago a local RSPCA shop had a notice for a 13 year old ginger tabby who had been abandoned by her owners who moved house and left her. I really, really don't understand people like that and quite frankly would have them shot. The ad said to foster initially. Gingers are not my thing, and Muppet is crippling me financially at the mo, but if I hadn't been going away for a few days within 3 weeks I would have gone for her. Browse rescue sites, maybe one will jump out at you. They all need loving homes and you've proved they'd be very fortunate to have you.
 
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G-G said:
I lost my latest cat 6 years ago now and I miss not having a cat but have a guilt trip over her that I didn't do the right thing at the end for her. A few weeks ago a local RSPCA shop had a notice for a 13 year old ginger tabby who had been abandoned by her owners who moved house and left her. I really, really don't understand people like that and quite frankly would have them shot. The ad said to foster initially. Gingers are not my thing, and Muppet is crippling me financially at the mo, but if I hadn't been going away for a few days within 3 weeks I would have gone for her. Browse rescue sites, maybe one will jump out at you. They all need loving homes and you've proved they'd be very fortunate to have you.
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I don't get that either, anyone who can abandon a pet should never have had it to start with, and never be allowed to own again. I find it really despicable, they must be sociapaths to be able to do that and live with themselves afterwards. The first cat I got from the car park, the owner had died, according to the people that lived round there, so it was just one of those sad situations.

I don't know why you felt guilty about your cat, but I bet you did the right thing. I understand if you don't want to talk about that. We always tend to try and hold back the worst visit to a vets, you absolutely dread that time when you are in the car on the way, and you know your pet won't be going back home. They have been the worst days of my life apart from my Mum passing.

Thanks G-G for those kind comments.

I still don't know if I will have another cat, still grieving, comes in waves, ok for a few days, then a wave just comes over you. I just try and bat it away as you do.
 
I've never been out and got a cat but I've had a few adopt me.after I had to have one put down another used to come in to my veranda and so I fed it but it wouldnt come near me.after a few weeks it walked in and made itself at home.also another used to come and pinch food as well.
Then one day a guy came to my door and asked if I had seen his cat and showed me a photo and said it had been missing for a couple of weeks.it had been living with me for at least a month,so I gave him the cat back.
Then I had a note pushed through my door from another old lady thanking me for looking after her cat when it was missing.
Then after a couple of weeks went by and first cat came back and a couple of days later so did the man and his wife and we had a bit of an argument tbh. They told me it was illegal to feed someone elses cat (which I didnt know) and I said maybe it doesnt like you.
That didnt go down well.the next time it came I took it back to them and I havent seen it since.
But then I found my pedal bin on its side 2 nights on the trot and the 3rd night I caught 2 little black and white cats in the bin,so I put some food down and the one was pulling it out of the packet it was so hungry. So I put some food out and the one has moved in and the other which has now got a collar on keeps coming for food as well.i assume they both belong to the little old lady that put the note through my door.i am thinking that maybe she is having trouble with the cost of living and cant feed them regularly so I keep doing it.

as I put food out for hedgehogs cats can pinch that so I cant win really.
So I'm now the man that's been adopted again.
Little black and white cat like on the felix advert.
 
Outsider said:
I've never been out and got a cat but I've had a few adopt me.after I had to have one put down another used to come in to my veranda and so I fed it but it wouldnt come near me.after a few weeks it walked in and made itself at home.also another used to come and pinch food as well.
Then one day a guy came to my door and asked if I had seen his cat and showed me a photo and said it had been missing for a couple of weeks.it had been living with me for at least a month,so I gave him the cat back.
Then I had a note pushed through my door from another old lady thanking me for looking after her cat when it was missing.
Then after a couple of weeks went by and first cat came back and a couple of days later so did the man and his wife and we had a bit of an argument tbh. They told me it was illegal to feed someone elses cat (which I didnt know) and I said maybe it doesnt like you.
That didnt go down well.the next time it came I took it back to them and I havent seen it since.
But then I found my pedal bin on its side 2 nights on the trot and the 3rd night I caught 2 little black and white cats in the bin,so I put some food down and the one was pulling it out of the packet it was so hungry. So I put some food out and the one has moved in and the other which has now got a collar on keeps coming for food as well.i assume they both belong to the little old lady that put the note through my door.i am thinking that maybe she is having trouble with the cost of living and cant feed them regularly so I keep doing it.

as I put food out for hedgehogs cats can pinch that so I cant win really.
So I'm now the man that's been adopted again.
Little black and white cat like on the felix advert.
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Thats brilliant and it shows me you are just like me, although I can't adopt a cat that comes a visiting now, like you have done, unless I know it is really needy. I got a few that come round, they really friendly but look well looked after, so I just enjoy looking at them.

My little girl looked like the felix cat too, and she was always a small girl, and thin, when we first had her, she took a good 6 months to get looking really healthy. Oddly, she was the healthiest cat we ever had over the years, which I never thought would be the case.

We had to have her spaid, spelling?, in the first week we had her. She was about 5 then and vet said it was not good to let a female get that old without being spaid. So from day one I thought, I bet you don't last long, well she did, 13 years, with no real ailments until these last few sad weeks.
 
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I was right, file too big.

This was when I got her a new bed, didn't take long for her to break it in;)
 
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My bichon frise -Lucky -pts today aged 15 years and 4 months.He arrived on Christmas Day 2008 which was the day before Harchibald reeled in Rooster Booster to win his second Christmas Hurdle.He had a Rolls Royce of a life with best of food and regular walks on the beach and on private grounds where we didn't have to worry about meeting other dogs.
Because of him I developed the ability to jump out of bed at 5:45 A.M. and drive to the local beach ad get a good walk in before work.His groomer called him Benjamin Button because of his ability to bounce back from illness and adversity.We brought him to the beach on Thursday and he collapsed -at that point it was obvious that the end was close.
i stayed up all night with him on Thursday and Friday to make sure he wasn't in any pain and I was delighted when my daughter made it home from University in time to see him and realise there was nothing that could be done to save him.
Tonight I am a basket case due to the lack of sleep and grief -hopefully things ill be easier tomorrow.
Lucky -rest in peace -you were loved and brought us a tremendous amount of joy and happiness.
 
He'll always be with you, Luke.

My wee Oscar is over eight years gone and I think about him every day. He'll never leave me.

Take care.
 
I found a lump on my 11 year old girl Thursday. Our pets are as close as children.

Luke, best of luck to you. You have some tough days ahead.

I hope you find the strength to take in another eventually
 
LUKE said:
My bichon frise -Lucky -pts today aged 15 years and 4 months.He arrived on Christmas Day 2008 which was the day before Harchibald reeled in Rooster Booster to win his second Christmas Hurdle.He had a Rolls Royce of a life with best of food and regular walks on the beach and on private grounds where we didn't have to worry about meeting other dogs.
Because of him I developed the ability to jump out of bed at 5:45 A.M. and drive to the local beach ad get a good walk in before work.His groomer called him Benjamin Button because of his ability to bounce back from illness and adversity.We brought him to the beach on Thursday and he collapsed -at that point it was obvious that the end was close.
i stayed up all night with him on Thursday and Friday to make sure he wasn't in any pain and I was delighted when my daughter made it home from University in time to see him and realise there was nothing that could be done to save him.
Tonight I am a basket case due to the lack of sleep and grief -hopefully things ill be easier tomorrow.
Lucky -rest in peace -you were loved and brought us a tremendous amount of joy and happiness.
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Share your hurt, Luke.
 
granger said:
I found a lump on my 11 year old girl Thursday. Our pets are as close as children.

Luke, best of luck to you. You have some tough days ahead.

I hope you find the strength to take in another eventually
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Could you have a needle aspiration done ? It’s what I always ask for these days after my last whippet had a huge operation done to remove what turned out to be a cyst. Vets don’t always offer it.
 
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