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EC21

Apprentice
Joined
Jul 5, 2022
Messages
527
Location
Derbyshire
Sadly at the moment my girl cat is not well. She has hyperthyroidism, which basically means medicating just to reduce further decline, but at same time that medication can cause kidney problems. She is now about 17. We got her when she was about 5, she had never seen another cat, hated the outside. She took to me from day one and I loved her from a similar time. It took weeks of care to get her used to her new home.

She is all me, always has been. From when I stopped work in 2014, she has spent all her time with me.

We have had two cats before her, both rescued from whatever s**t they had faced. Both had good lives with us. This lady is so special to me, it is breaking my heart watching her decline. She is still happy but I know that if I think her quality of life dips too far, I will have to make that decision that you will all know, if you had/have pets, that you have to make. I won't see my beautiful girl suffering.

I just know some of you will have been here, I have before, but this lady is so special to me.
 
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Yes, it's part of the price you pay for owning a pet. There isn't a day goes by that I don't think about my wee Heinz (pts 2015) at some point or other.
 
It haunts every owner.

One amazing thing about animals, they are all completely unique personalities and you'll form a new special relationship with what follows eventually too.

Enjoy what's left, enjoy all your memories and make her days beautiful

Not a great thread for it but happy birthday pal too.
 
Thanks to you for your kind messages, right struggling at moment. Granger, I so will do that, I will make her days beautiful, can't think of anything better than that really. Thanks all of you.
 
Better a day too soon than a day too late. Can you get your vet to come to your home? I’ve lost so many cats and dogs over the years and the ones that I really struggle with are the times when I feel I let them down at the end. Cats do seem to be very prone to kidney problems I’m afraid. It never gets any easier but we have to be brave for them.
 
I was so upset taking our 16 year old Jack Russell to the vets for the last time, she was near deaf, incontinent and it was her time really. Nonetheless in the vet’s waiting room before her final curtain she was the perfect lady, alert, asked to go out, performed outside, trotted back in and fixed me with soulful eyes. I felt like a murderer.

Just keep loving her, EC.
 
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barjon said:
I was so upset taking our 16 year old Jack Russell to the vets for the last time, she was near deaf, incontinent and it was her time really. Nonetheless in the vet’s waiting room before her final curtain she was the perfect lady, alert, asked to go out, performed outside, trotted back in and fixed me with soulful eyes. I felt like a murderer.

Just keep loving her, EC.
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I will do Jon.

That is hearbreaking, you were no murderer, you did what you thought was best, it must have been so painful. Then we have to go home, and try and get back to normal. The first cat I had, it took me 6 months to get over. She also had kidney problems that f**ked her up.
 
The thoughts of everyone here who understands the pain involved will be with you if the time comes, EC. The best approach at solace I can come up with right now is to cling to the knowledge that without you (and for all of us others that the day will one day come to, or has in the past), our special friends may not have lived their lives with the same love, affection, and attention they give us.
 
I had my last cat 19 and a half years, she hated the vets, everyone else, the car... she's been gone 6 years and I still feel guilt over her last few days as I couldn't face taking her to the vets. I would love to get another one/two, I have thought about fostering for charities but money aside, know I would get attached and not sure I can face it. Killed me having to have Molly put down - my mare- and that's 6 years ago almost too and feel so guilty over that. She had a leg that wouldn't recover and although not crippled would not have been able to run round on it really without it one day giving way and the vet said I didn't want to let that happen, for my sake as much as hers. Aside from her hock there was nothing wrong with her. A perfectly healthy 14 year old horse. I didn't and don't still feel I had the right to make the decision at all. Her son is struggling to stay sound and I am absolutely worried sick I see the same decision looming and not sure if I can really cope with it again.
I occasionally dog sit and love their company, although honestly wouldn't get one as prefer cats, but not sure I can face having to actually lose one again.
 
It's real easy to say this, I know, G-G. But they can't make the decision, so it's our love that has to make it for them to spare pain. There is no guilt to be assigned or felt, 'just' sadness.
 
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I worry that, at the age of 71, my dog will outlive me. At the same time I dread the thought of losing her because I’d be too old to have another dog. I know my daughter would give her a home but I also know she doesn’t really like skinny whippety things ( it’s all because of a horrible PETA thing that she saw years ago) and I want my dog to be loved and understood. I’ve always tried to make my dogs a bit independent but at the wrong time of life have ended up with a lock down Velcro dog ( until she spots something in the distance, that is!). People also don’t seem to want to rehome black dogs: they’re always the last ones in kennels to find a home. She did come from a breeder that will always take her dogs back, though, so I don’t know why I’m worrying so much.
 
Have just got back from having my beautiful girl cat put to sleep. She was suffering and I did everything I could to stop this. The pain is unreal as you all will know who have owned pets or loved any animal in your life. I am in bits.
 
So sorry to read this. Hardest decision in the world to make but the right one also. I struggle every time and I am a vets daughter but it doesn’t make it any easier. Take your time to grieve but also know just how special you were to her.
 
Thanks Jinny, yes i was special to her, I took her in 13 years ago when her owner didn't want her any more. What a great point to make that never crossed my mind. Thanks :cool:

Thanks Jinny, made me think, when at the moment I can't really do so very well without wanting to cry for her.
 
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There have been times when I’ve felt that I would never get over the loss of one of my dogs or cats, but the pain does go. They’re with us all the time and their presence remains for a long time. Don’t try to fight the grief: go with it. Tears are healing. I’ve sometimes thought I would cry myself dry.You did everything right for your girl. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing we understand how you feel x
 
EC21 said:
Have just got back from having my beautiful girl cat put to sleep. She was suffering and I did everything I could to stop this. The pain is unreal as you all will know who have owned pets or loved any animal in your life. I am in bits.
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All sympathy, but you absolutely did the right thing.
 
moehat said:
They’re with us all the time and their presence remains for a long time.
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My beloved Cookie died of a heart attack in my arms about 3 years ago aged six. Her ashes are in my room, in the same container that came from the vets, carefully positioned on a pile of her neatly folded blankets. Her little stuffed dog toys sit the side, gently positioned with their arms wrapped around each other, surrounded by old leads and collars. Sometimes I just bury my head in a blanket and try to breathe in the scent of her. It's fading. I'm not even sure it's there any more. But the memory will never fade. One day, in the last breaths, I expect and hope to see her again.
 
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Echoing the messages of support, EC21.

Owning a pet involves a huge emotional investment. We kept Oscar's ashes for a few years then just before we moved out of that house two years ago we spread his ashes all over the back garden which was such a big part of his life.

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to part with the ceramic container and I've no idea what I'll ever do with it.
 
So sorry to read this, EC21. I know how much your little girl meant to you. She couldn't make the decision for herself, so you have saved her pain. You did a good thing. But I know there is no way you are thinking you did that at the moment.
 
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EC21 said:
Have just got back from having my beautiful girl cat put to sleep. She was suffering and I did everything I could to stop this. The pain is unreal as you all will know who have owned pets or loved any animal in your life. I am in bits.
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Very sorry to hear this, Alan.
 
I need advice from you guys. I am 67 now, I really don't think I can do the cooling off period of not having a pet. I have a lot of love to give a pet, and I am bloody good at looking after a pet with love and kindness. I have had 3 cats since 1999. None of them I went out and looked for.

The first one was Lucy. I had been self employed in 1998, but stopped that and went to tech for a few months passing computer exams to get a none physical job. During that period I used to walk to the paper shop every day for a Racing Post. I used to pass a car park, under one of the cars I always used to see a cat sleeping. After a week or so I used to call to her and she would come to me, just so fussy and needy.

We moved from a flat to our house in that period. A week before we moved, I went out one teatime and made my mind up on the way back to pick this girl up, bring her home, and if she settled, I wanted to look after her. So I picked her up and carried her home. She was so happy. We took her to the vet the next day, gave her flea treatment etc. When we moved to the new house in late 1999, we then had her for two years until her kidneys failed sadly. She would have been about 9 or 10 I think.

Next beauty was a black and white male cat that had been coming round us and the neighbours for weeks. You always thinks someone is looking after them don't you? Anyway it got to teatime on a November the 5th, must have been 2004/5 ish, fireworks had started and this beautiful boy came to our back door like he had done before. I let him in, he was frightened by the fireworks. I could not let him out and he didn't want to go either. We had him for about 6 years after that. He was right typical bruiser who was used to roughing it. So different from our first girl cat. He tried to get a rabbit in his mouth through the cat flap one day, it was unreal, I could just see grey legs being banged against the cat flap from inside the house. He was a real tom cat. Sadly he got a bowel growth and we had to let him go after about 6 years.

That was November time I think 2011. This is the point I want to ask you all about. When we lost him, I buried him in our garden and me and Mrs EC said, we couldn't have another cat until we had got over it.

Just 6 weeks later, her friend sent a picture of a cat and said her owner didn't want her any more and that if we didn't have her it would be RSPCA. I saw this picture and it played on my mind so much, really upset me. I went to work one morning and said to Mrs EC, go and get her, I can't see her being put down.

That was how I got my beautiful girl, she had been with us 12 years up until Monday.

My question is...do I need to wait 6 months or 12 months to have another cat? I didn't then even though I would not have chosen to have Tilly then, I did though, and it is the strongest bond I have ever had with an animal.

I know it's just a day now, but do you need to wait a period of time do you think?

Thanks for any advice.

I only ask hard questions don't I?
 
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