Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 23

Thread: Alcohol.......

  1. #1
    Senior Member trudij's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Hurry up and move!!
    Posts
    5,579
    Thanks
    1,038
    Thanked 763 Times in 407 Posts
    Following the legislation forcing Cigarette companies to print health
    warnings on tobacco products, the government has now tabled a new law to
    force producers of alcohol products to print similar warnings on all
    their product. Below are examples of warnings that they will have to
    use.

    New warning labels for liquor, wine and beer containers:

    1. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may leave you
    wondering what in the world happened to
    your bra and panties.

    2. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think
    You are whispering when you are not.

    3. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol is a major factor
    In dancing like a retard.

    4. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
    Tell your friends over and over again that
    you love them.

    5. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
    think you can sing.

    6. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
    believe that ex-lovers are really dying for
    you to telephone them at four in the morning.


    7. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may make you think
    you can logically converse with other
    members of the opposite sex without spitting.


    8. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol is the leading
    Cause of inexplicable rug burns on the
    forehead, knees and lower back.


    9. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may create the
    illusion that you are tougher, smarter,
    faster and better looking than most people.


    10. WARNING:
    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
    Think people are laughing WITH you.
    #YourStorm
    Mr Brightside

    All posts are based on the following:
    I know what I'm talking about/ I'm having a stab in the dark
    I'm bored/ You're an idiot and I'm poking you with sticks

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    brum
    Posts
    4,132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

  3. #3
    Ardross
    Guest
    WARNING

    The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that Birmingham is a great place to live

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    brum
    Posts
    4,132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    There isn't enough alcohol in the world.........

  5. #5
    Ardross
    Guest

  6. #6
    Super Moderator Irish Stamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Brighton
    Posts
    8,583
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 389 Times in 162 Posts
    From personal experience.
    11. the consumption of alcohol may cause you to propose marriage to your best mate and for her to say "yes"
    Hurricane Fly - whatever he runs in he wins

    Twitter: @Quevega

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    brum
    Posts
    4,132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Erm, congratulations :what:

  8. #8
    Gone But Not Forgotten
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    SOUTH WALES
    Posts
    3,556
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 16 Times in 8 Posts
    WARNING The consumption of alcohol makes you think you can drive better and can result in death............boom !! crash!!!!.......a must I think B)
    [B]I once had a photographic memory which was never developed!! that's why I get such negative responses?[/B]
    [B]I used to play the sex organ but now I'm restricted to a YAMAHA...:confused:[/B]

  9. #9
    Senior Member an capall's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Dalkey
    Posts
    5,496
    Thanks
    422
    Thanked 840 Times in 477 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    12. Warning. Alcohol can cause you to go to Abrakebabra.
    "And still they gazed and still the wonder grew. That one small head could carry all he knew.

    And that small head knew that Impaire Et Passe would win the Champion Hurdle."

  10. #10
    Super Moderator Irish Stamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Brighton
    Posts
    8,583
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 389 Times in 162 Posts
    Originally posted by PDJ@Nov 10 2004, 05:10 AM
    Erm, congratulations :what:
    We split by mutual consent next day
    Hurricane Fly - whatever he runs in he wins

    Twitter: @Quevega

  11. #11
    Gone But Not Forgotten
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Banstead, Surrey
    Posts
    6,108
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 7 Posts
    I trust that pre-marital consummation took place?

  12. #12
    Senior Member Dave G's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Liverpool
    Posts
    2,583
    Thanks
    175
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts
    Although I must have gone through points 2 - 10 inclusive at various stages, I can quite categorically state I've never woken up wondering what happened to my bra and panties..... B)
    You should not confuse your career with your life.

  13. #13
    Kathy
    Guest
    That's probably because you were still wearing them Dave!

  14. #14
    Gone But Not Forgotten
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Banstead, Surrey
    Posts
    6,108
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 7 Posts
    But you may have woken to wonder whose bra and panties were on the floor....?

  15. #15
    Senior Member Dave G's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Liverpool
    Posts
    2,583
    Thanks
    175
    Thanked 33 Times in 28 Posts
    I couldn't possibly comment.....
    You should not confuse your career with your life.

  16. #16
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    brum
    Posts
    4,132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

  17. #17
    Senior Member trudij's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Hurry up and move!!
    Posts
    5,579
    Thanks
    1,038
    Thanked 763 Times in 407 Posts
    I've woken once and wondered who was next to me........ :unsure: h34r:


    thankfully I dont know that either of us was in a fit state to have got up to anything...... B)
    #YourStorm
    Mr Brightside

    All posts are based on the following:
    I know what I'm talking about/ I'm having a stab in the dark
    I'm bored/ You're an idiot and I'm poking you with sticks

  18. #18
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    brum
    Posts
    4,132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Originally posted by trudij@Nov 10 2004, 08:45 PM
    thankfully I dont know that either of us was in a fit state to have got up to anything...... B)
    Where's the fun in that??

  19. #19
    Senior Member trudij's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Hurry up and move!!
    Posts
    5,579
    Thanks
    1,038
    Thanked 763 Times in 407 Posts
    theres a big element of doubt........



    but if he could have managed after the amount of drink hed had that would be SERIOUSLY impressive!!!!
    #YourStorm
    Mr Brightside

    All posts are based on the following:
    I know what I'm talking about/ I'm having a stab in the dark
    I'm bored/ You're an idiot and I'm poking you with sticks

  20. #20
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    brum
    Posts
    4,132
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

Similar Threads

  1. Drug/Alcohol Testing
    By Guest_ in forum General Racing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 5th February 2009, 5:40 PM
  2. Alcohol Concern
    By PDJ in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 27th April 2007, 3:35 PM
  3. Alcohol
    By Triptych in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 7th August 2005, 5:28 PM
  4. Alcohol
    By Triptych in forum Chit Chat
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 31st May 2005, 1:23 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •