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Thread: Time To Ban Lawyers In Public Places

  1. #1
    Senior Member simmo's Avatar
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    A recent survey carried out has shown that allowing Lawyers to frequent public places causes a severe increase in the risk of "heart attack by apoplexy".

    The report found that their insistence on asking questions in the format of a statement greatly increased the risk of apoplexy on the part of the accused, sorry, questionee and further found that as many as 1 in 3 subsequently suffered a heart attack directly attributable to the lawyers presence.

    It also found that in one instance, the onset of heart attack was so quick and severe as to kill a middle aged man, who fell upon his keyboard with his finger depressed firmly on the !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! ! button.

    In concluding, the report recommended that lawyers should be kept to chambers at all times, being transported to and from court in a sealed vehicle to avoid any contamination to the outside world.

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    Gone But Not Forgotten
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    As is so often the case, Shakespeare said it first:
    "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers"
    Henry VI, Act vi, Scene ii.

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