Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 29

Thread: Advice/help sort

  1. #1
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts

    Advice/help sort

    A friend of mine died recently in hospital and did not leave any contact details with them as to who to call/contact. I only found out as another friend and I had been trying to contact here by phone/email etc with no luck and then she didn't turn up at Ascot so I drove to her home and a neighbour told me she had gone into hospital, which is how I found out.
    I am the only person who had contacted them, she'd had not visitors when she was in there so I took it upon myself to register her death and collect her effects from the ward.
    What happens next? If she didn't leave a contact I would suspect she didn't leave a will or why not otherwise give that information to the hospital because logically ( although not always logical I appreciate ) that is who she would want to be informed and who could take the next step?
    Do I tell the police? If yes can they actually do anything practical? If not them, who?
    Thanks.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Desert Orchid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    23,661
    Thanks
    2,930
    Thanked 3,483 Times in 2,743 Posts
    Surely the hospital administration office would be able to advise?

    They must have had hundreds of such cases.

    Sorry for your loss, G-G.
    Illegitimi non carborundum


  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Desert Orchid For This Useful Post:

    G-G (31st July 2022)

  4. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    4,194
    Thanks
    562
    Thanked 1,222 Times in 620 Posts
    So sorry GG you are going through this. I think if you go on Gov.uk there is lots of advice and possibly a helpline.

    Just checked and there is a step by step guide what to do.
    Last edited by jinnyj; 31st July 2022 at 2:10 PM.
    tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to jinnyj For This Useful Post:

    Desert Orchid (31st July 2022)

  6. #4
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts
    Thank you both. The bereavement office at the hospital just basically said that if I had not come forward they would place a notice in local papers and see if anyone came forward, if no response after a month they would arrange a 'funeral' for her. Nothing else really in terms of help with what to do about her house/car etc. I can't even do the 'tell us once' information as it says on the website whoever does that needs permission of executor/administrator of the estate and not knowing who that is, I daren't do it. I know she was in receipt of a works pension -ex civil servant - and obviously a state pension as she was retired. She was an only child, had a step dad but always said she had no family left. I've known her 20 years plus and she never mentioned anyone. She never married or had children either. I have the keys to the house so I could go and look for a will? I'm also slightly worried that it may be obvious it's empty and would hate to thing any one would break in there. The neighbours I spoke to said she pretty much kept herself to herself and not offering to get involved. I have left my number with one of them in case.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

  7. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    4,194
    Thanks
    562
    Thanked 1,222 Times in 620 Posts
    Then I think I would approach the Citizens Advice Bureau? They surely would have free advice for how to proceed. I imagine it happens more than you think it does.
    tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to jinnyj For This Useful Post:

    G-G (31st July 2022)

  9. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    912
    Thanks
    572
    Thanked 319 Times in 293 Posts
    RIP to your friend G-G

    Echo jinnyj & DO's sentiments. Nothing further to add other than that this may be a timely reminder to us all to check that we all have our affairs in order.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to 2017diary For This Useful Post:

    G-G (31st July 2022)

  11. #7
    Senior Member Desert Orchid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    23,661
    Thanks
    2,930
    Thanked 3,483 Times in 2,743 Posts
    Was she a person of faith?

    If so, maybe her parish priest/vicar/minister would know what to do?

    (Not the same situation, but I know of one family who lost someone recently and had no idea what to do. They told me they informed their priest and he got in touch with all the necessary people on their behalf.)
    Illegitimi non carborundum


  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Desert Orchid For This Useful Post:

    G-G (31st July 2022)

  13. #8
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts
    No she wasn't.
    I'm going to the local police tomorrow and hand them the death certificates I have, and the effects from the house and say I can't do any more legally. Someone telling me the hospital should not have let me take the effects but they knew I was just a friend and they didn't say I couldn't? They asked if had family etc, I said no. She never knew who her real father was , war baby, and her Mum never told her but I knew she had no sublings etc and always said she had no family. She was going to get married when younger but called it off 2 weeks before the date. When I asked her why, she said I just thought I actually didn't like him that much. Braver than some!
    Thanks again.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

  14. #9
    Senior Member an capall's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Dalkey
    Posts
    5,496
    Thanks
    422
    Thanked 840 Times in 477 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    This is a traumatic episode for you GG. And the world is a better place because you care. Stay strong. It will resolve itself.
    "And still they gazed and still the wonder grew. That one small head could carry all he knew.

    And that small head knew that Impaire Et Passe would win the Champion Hurdle."

  15. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to an capall For This Useful Post:

    Colin (2nd August 2022), G-G (2nd August 2022)

  16. #10
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts
    Thanks everyone.
    The police don't want to know. Basically said I could contact a solicitor for advice or CAB, or do nothing, or put the keys back through the letterbox and walk away. I explained the whole situation, and since the death have gone into the house as the windows were all on the latch. The police officer actually asked if I had looked for a will.. well yes - I was expecting her to say I shouldn't have gone in there. Well no I know that really but the windows were open and there was no longer fresh food aside from anything else. A friend came with me as witness and I told the neighbours what we were doing and one witnessed us trying to make sense of the kitchen. We did find documents from a solicitor when the house was bought, we googled him, he died in 2014 and looked from the docs like a one man band.
    I can apparently arrange the funeral although legally I have no rights to do anything else, but can ill afford not to get the money back. We asked the police what about the house and the car, they're just going to sit there? She just shrugged.
    I really don't know what to do next other than maybe try the CAB if I can actually get to talk to someone.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

  17. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    4,194
    Thanks
    562
    Thanked 1,222 Times in 620 Posts
    Have you tried Citizens Advice online? There’s a fair bit on there. Go into “Family” and there’s lots about what to do and who pays for funeral etc.

    Otherwise Ardross who sometimes posts on here, I am pretty sure is a lawyer? Maybe drop him a pm.
    Last edited by jinnyj; 2nd August 2022 at 7:23 PM.
    tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to jinnyj For This Useful Post:

    G-G (3rd August 2022)

  19. #12
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts
    Apparently the Environmental Health department of the local council are the people to contact who 'will arrange everything' so need to call them tomorrow and ask them to sort it. I stopped at the house yesterday on way back from a family visit and someone has told the council as council tax bill addressed to 'exors of' was on the mat which is unbelievable fast as her death was only made official the previous week.
    I am still struggling to understand why she didn't leave a will. The house is worth several hundred thousand never mind money in the bank. She always supported charities, animal ones and the IJF, why not leave it to them? It's very sad that a life well led will benefit only the government, which she didn't like!
    Without being morbid, if anyone has not made a will reading this, please do it as soon as possible. Whatever you leave behind, leave it to someone or something you love and care about.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to G-G For This Useful Post:

    Colin (8th August 2022)

  21. #13
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts
    Scrap that - they didn't want to know either.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

  22. #14
    Senior Member barjon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2020
    Posts
    3,399
    Thanks
    996
    Thanked 1,222 Times in 925 Posts
    Blog Entries
    161
    I think the local authority arrange a funeral if that hasn’t happened yet. The Probate Office will know if a will has been registered or not if you haven’t tried that already. I can’t believe that it is that of a rarity and I would have thought the hospital almoner would know the drill. It’s so good of you to be trying to sort it out, but I suspect you’ll tie yourself in knots if you keep at it. For your own sanity, GG, you have to pass on the responsibility, even if that means walking away.

  23. The Following User Says Thank You to barjon For This Useful Post:

    G-G (8th August 2022)

  24. #15
    Senior Member Desert Orchid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    23,661
    Thanks
    2,930
    Thanked 3,483 Times in 2,743 Posts
    When you've a heart as big as G-G's, walking away can be very difficult.
    Illegitimi non carborundum


  25. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Desert Orchid For This Useful Post:

    barjon (8th August 2022), G-G (8th August 2022)

  26. #16
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts
    So it's a year tomorrow since she died. A friend and I cleared all the food and did a final sweep of the house to try and find some paperwork but no. Everyone we spoke to said I had no rights and could get in trouble etc. I put the keys through the letter box and walked away. Eventually I was pointed at a government department who deal with these sorts of instances, sent them a form and a copy of the death certificate. They said they 'advertise' for a year and if no one comes forward, sell assets etc, sit on the money for a further 9 years in case anyone then makes a claim. Yesterday I decided to look and see if she's still on the list being advertised. No she's not so I thought I would be cheeky and ring and see if they would tell me if anyone had come forward. Never heard of her, didn't get my form/death cert, done nothing. Lady there also told me I should have held onto the keys/removed paperwork/bank cards etc and waited until resolved....... I could cry, seriously. I drove past about 6 weeks ago just to look, car still on drive way, garden untidy but not too bad but what an utter waste. The woman I spoke to yesterday totally contradicted what the woman I spoke to last year said. How can this be with a government department for goodness sake?
    If anyone at Newbury tomorrow, a friend and I had a plaque put on a bench for her near the weighing room, and I'll be leaving some flowers and cleaning the plaque after 1 o'clock.
    I could still kill her for not leaving a will.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

  27. #17
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    43
    Thanks
    52
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by G-G View Post
    So it's a year tomorrow since she died. A friend and I cleared all the food and did a final sweep of the house to try and find some paperwork but no. Everyone we spoke to said I had no rights and could get in trouble etc. I put the keys through the letter box and walked away. Eventually I was pointed at a government department who deal with these sorts of instances, sent them a form and a copy of the death certificate. They said they 'advertise' for a year and if no one comes forward, sell assets etc, sit on the money for a further 9 years in case anyone then makes a claim. Yesterday I decided to look and see if she's still on the list being advertised. No she's not so I thought I would be cheeky and ring and see if they would tell me if anyone had come forward. Never heard of her, didn't get my form/death cert, done nothing. Lady there also told me I should have held onto the keys/removed paperwork/bank cards etc and waited until resolved....... I could cry, seriously. I drove past about 6 weeks ago just to look, car still on drive way, garden untidy but not too bad but what an utter waste. The woman I spoke to yesterday totally contradicted what the woman I spoke to last year said. How can this be with a government department for goodness sake?
    If anyone at Newbury tomorrow, a friend and I had a plaque put on a bench for her near the weighing room, and I'll be leaving some flowers and cleaning the plaque after 1 o'clock.
    I could still kill her for not leaving a will.
    Nice touch with the plaque and bench. I hope you had a nice day remembering your friend.

    To be perfectly honest, if you want action in these sorts of cases most Government departments will be next to useless; your best bet is to contact a firm of probate researchers or ''heir hunters'' - especially as she owned her own property, was likely to have had savings etc...Considering the estate was likely to be sizeable they would 100% have invested the time to discover if there were any living relatives entitled to their share of the estate. A good percentage of their work is from private referrals or tip offs in cases just like this.

    It's quite likely she has distant relatives out there who, whilst they may not have been her first choice to inherit, would at least have a more deserving familial link to the estate than the crown.
    Last edited by JJ.; 22nd July 2023 at 12:01 AM.

  28. #18
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts
    Thanks but the woman at the government department said 2nd /3rd cousins would not be considered as close enough relatives. My friend told me her memory, when she was very young, of visiting relatives was that she was the only young person there and everyone else was 'elderly'. She was an only child, a war baby who never knew anything about her natural father, and was adopted by her step father when her mother married him. I think she will have no one who would qualify even if anyone is found. All the estate should have gone to charity at the very least. She would be very cross to think the government will get it. I really could kill her. If I ever see her again that's the first thing I am going to say to her.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

  29. #19
    Senior Member an capall's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Dalkey
    Posts
    5,496
    Thanks
    422
    Thanked 840 Times in 477 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    I would be inclined to folow JJ's steer GG. Government officials are usually semi-informed at best and disinterested at worst. Her input on legacy entitlements are dodgy.
    "And still they gazed and still the wonder grew. That one small head could carry all he knew.

    And that small head knew that Impaire Et Passe would win the Champion Hurdle."

  30. #20
    Senior Member G-G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Not got much to lose.
    Posts
    3,187
    Thanks
    726
    Thanked 471 Times in 295 Posts
    Well yes. She also said that I could get a locksmith to open the house, change the locks and keep the new keys, taking out anything financial, including the £5000 worth of premium bonds we found amongst other things. When I told my friend, who's been on every visit with me to the house as witness etc. she couldn't believe it. Nor could I to be honest.
    I have yet to send the form in as don't have a scanner for the death certificate , my phone's not got a great camera, but I think I will put that suggestion in the email and ask to confirm and if yes we will go back. Goodness knows what state it will be inside after a year with no heating etc but if nothing else we could check the post.
    She also told me that I could have arranged a funeral and taken the invoice to the bank and the bank would have paid it out of her account. Someone else told me that and I didn't believe them - I think that's so open to fraud but the bank will do it, just for info for anyone.
    Vote Alfie!!!!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •