Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 33

Thread: Cancer..help.

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    9,292
    Thanks
    267
    Thanked 2,018 Times in 1,180 Posts

    Cancer..help.

    After seeing my grandads die of the disease one of them I was really close to, closer than my parents even 25 years on still find myself grieving him and when my gran his wife suffered terribly with her heart numerous times going into hospital scared witless and having her heart basically started up has left a big impression on me and time has not been a healer.At the beginning of july my mum phones me to say she has incurable lung cancer,now knowing i'm going to have to go through this all again everyday seems like a nightmare,i'm still in denial she has it as she goes under treatment just to try and get into remission I already suffer with severe depression with my diagnosis off ms in may,she also has been looking after my 92 year old other gran as well this will leave my dad with the responsibility.
    I lived with my gran for awhile when my grandad passed away,think it was good for her and me as all three of us were so close my dad and me aren't fortunately, my brother is around and he will do anything for anyone so he will always be there.Does anyone know how severe here treatments will effect here she has it in both lungs and liver and in chest,i havn;'t asked her how long but I did say to her the usual life expectancy is 8 months to 2 years which she said is right she was diagnosed in may but has had these ongoing ''chest infections''for over 12 months yet another mishap by doctors xrays no mris.Am so angry at the moment and don't know what to do,i'm sure lots on here have seen relatives in their family go through it just wondering if anyone knows if she does go into remission would she be able to travel etc and perhaps take a long holiday like a month away.They have never excepted anything off me financially me my mum had a stroke at 44 and my dad left his job as a surveyor to look after her so basically they've been living on his small pension,i really want to do something for them and wondering if she will be well enough to travel.At the moment she has wheezing,but she is eating and says she feels ok but as I know from experience these things can rapidly decline wiil all this constant chemo and new drugs they are trying make her start more unwell than she currently feels enabling her to do nothing...

  2. #2
    Senior Member trudij's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Hurry up and move!!
    Posts
    5,579
    Thanks
    1,038
    Thanked 763 Times in 407 Posts
    Oh my gosh G, how horribly horribly sad, I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this again - once is bad enough

    Have MacMillan got a telephone or email line you could ask about going away? https://www.macmillan.org.uk/ has a section for you to search for your area and see what help is available, you might find they have all the answers you are looking for ( I have Macmillan up on a pedestal- they are incredibly special people ) It's a gorgeous idea to take your mum away when she's in remission - if you aren't able to speak to her doctor then I'm sure Macmillan will be able to answer questions like yours.
    Really hope all works out - cancer is a horrible, horrible thing


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    #YourStorm
    Mr Brightside

    All posts are based on the following:
    I know what I'm talking about/ I'm having a stab in the dark
    I'm bored/ You're an idiot and I'm poking you with sticks

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    4,194
    Thanks
    562
    Thanked 1,222 Times in 620 Posts
    So sorry to read what a cr*p time you are having but can't only echo Trudi's words on contacting Macmillan. I am currently helping out a friend with her horses since her late diagnosis 2.5 years ago with bowel cancer that has now spread to the liver and lungs. For the past 2 years, she has tried to carry on as much as possible and certainly her passion for her horses has kept her going. She herself went on a lovely family holiday to Italy only in August. Sadly she too has a chest infection and is now pretty poorly. Chemo and steroids will knock out the immune system so its very important to keep away from potential situations where she can pick something up. I am pretty sure my friend got hers from the aeroplane (recycled air).
    I think my advice would be, get in touch with Macmillan - they will be in a better position to advise you and to liaise with doctors re possible activities she is able to do. It can be overwhelming especially when you are so involved emotionally and they will not only advise care for her but also you. Sometimes the medical profession forgets how it affects the lives and health of those around the patient but Macmillan (and Marie Curie charity) are really good at stepping in.
    tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,903
    Thanks
    775
    Thanked 229 Times in 179 Posts
    Also perhaps contact Age UK? Agree about MacMillan, though. I had a scare last year [thankfully turned out to be nothing] but phoned them up and spoke to them for ages. Are you thinking of a holiday in this country or abroad?

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    9,292
    Thanks
    267
    Thanked 2,018 Times in 1,180 Posts
    Thanks very much for replys,as jinny mentioned her immune system will be knocked out that's why i'm preying on her going to some sort of remission as I cannot visit her as for the last 3 years I have no immune system myself,constant flu,chest infections and general colds I barely get a week where i'm not coughing and spluttering and as my mum said best to stay away for time being.Think most importantly will be to see how her treatments working out and wether it's stopped any more spread she started chemo 4 weeks ago alongside other new drugs that are supposed to kill cancer cells,i was thinking of getting them some sort of cruise maybe if that's possible they had a disaster last September and had to cancel their holiday losing all their money due to my mum being ill then through these supposed chest infections/bronchitis.Like I said am very angry with doctors 4 lots of anti biotics she was given,a long term smoker with constant cough I remember saying to her 6 months ago that something wasn't right and not even an mri till too late..

  6. #6
    Senior Member Desert Orchid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    23,659
    Thanks
    2,930
    Thanked 3,482 Times in 2,742 Posts
    Agree about MacMillan nurses. They are wonderful.

    I realise it might sound trite - it's not meant to - but the most important thing you can offer right now is your time.

    21 years after my mother was taken by cancer (at 'just' 69) I remain angry with my boss at the time who 'advised' me against taking time off work (I asked for time off unpaid as I was convinced she only had a matter of days) insisting keeping my mind off her plight would be better for me. He followed up his 'advice' with the throwaway remark, "Besides, she might might live for weeks or months and we can't have you off for that length of time." I realised then what his agenda really was. I had the conversation with him on the Monday after visiting her the day before. She died during the night between Wednesday and Thursday after my work received a phone call from the family during the Wednesday on the advice of the doctor.

    I ended up only having a few hours with her, something that still bothers me.

    So, as I say, let the medical experts and MacMillan people do all they can to help but the greatest gift you can giver her is your time.
    Illegitimi non carborundum


  7. #7
    Senior Member Grasshopper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    16,018
    Thanks
    1,467
    Thanked 1,553 Times in 1,112 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    Very sorry to hear this, gigolo.
    "Beat the price and lose. It's what we do".

    SlimChance, March 2018

  8. #8
    Senior Member granger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Moscow Flyer Stables
    Posts
    18,886
    Thanks
    831
    Thanked 1,025 Times in 735 Posts
    Best of luck now and the next day and every day after that
    Some people say he’s the best since Arkle and that’s certainly true when you look at what he’s done

  9. #9
    Senior Member an capall's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Dalkey
    Posts
    5,496
    Thanks
    422
    Thanked 840 Times in 477 Posts
    Blog Entries
    1
    My daughter works in Oncology and palliative care. If you don't object I'll email her your post and PM a reply if she has any insightful or helpful remarks. I have been blessed in not having any family member suffer from cancer but one of my closest friends died from it last year and I can see why you are deeply upset. I wish you strength.

    DO - I hope you subsequently visited your boss with a Glasgow uppercut.
    Last edited by an capall; 4th September 2017 at 2:19 PM.
    "And still they gazed and still the wonder grew. That one small head could carry all he knew.

    And that small head knew that Impaire Et Passe would win the Champion Hurdle."

  10. #10
    Super Moderator Diamond Geezer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    13,884
    Thanks
    2,576
    Thanked 4,128 Times in 2,052 Posts
    I'm sure ALL forum members hope you find the most appropriate way to deal with this scenario gigilo even if they don't say so and also we hope your own health improves soon.

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Diamond Geezer For This Useful Post:

    Dave G (17th September 2017), Drone (4th September 2017), Grasshopper (4th September 2017)

  12. #11
    Senior Member Desert Orchid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    23,659
    Thanks
    2,930
    Thanked 3,482 Times in 2,742 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by an capall View Post
    DO - I hope you subsequently visited your boss with a Glasgow uppercut.
    He wasn't worth the effort. I don't think he spoke to me ever again. I just used to give him a withering look as I passed him.

    He retired the following year.
    Illegitimi non carborundum


  13. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    1,265
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts
    Very sorry to hear about this. Coincidentally just heard this morning I must go under the knife myself next week to have a bit of brain taken out, so thoughts very much with you on this.

  14. #13
    Super Moderator Diamond Geezer's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    13,884
    Thanks
    2,576
    Thanked 4,128 Times in 2,052 Posts
    Hope all goes well Venusian

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Diamond Geezer For This Useful Post:

    Venusian (5th September 2017)

  16. #14
    Senior Member trudij's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Hurry up and move!!
    Posts
    5,579
    Thanks
    1,038
    Thanked 763 Times in 407 Posts
    Hope all goes well and you make a full and speedy recovery Ven


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    #YourStorm
    Mr Brightside

    All posts are based on the following:
    I know what I'm talking about/ I'm having a stab in the dark
    I'm bored/ You're an idiot and I'm poking you with sticks

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to trudij For This Useful Post:

    Venusian (5th September 2017)

  18. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Chew Valley
    Posts
    3,373
    Thanks
    239
    Thanked 164 Times in 134 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Diamond Geezer View Post
    I'm sure ALL forum members hope you find the most appropriate way to deal with this scenario gigilo even if they don't say so and also we hope your own health improves soon.
    Absolutely

  19. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    9,292
    Thanks
    267
    Thanked 2,018 Times in 1,180 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by an capall View Post
    My daughter works in Oncology and palliative care. If you don't object I'll email her your post and PM a reply if she has any insightful or helpful remarks. I have been blessed in not having any family member suffer from cancer but one of my closest friends died from it last year and I can see why you are deeply upset. I wish you strength.

    DO - I hope you subsequently visited your boss with a Glasgow uppercut.
    No I don't mind at all the more I know the better,think everything revolves her going into remission although it couldn't be anyworse having lung cancer that has spread,from what she told me the doctors were positive saying she was healthy etc and there were other drugs they could try if the first lot don't work at all.Of course she may just be saying these things to me,she started her treatments 4 weeks ago from what I've read I think they get some sort of results after 6 weeks although i'm completely guessing just goig on what I've read..

  20. #17
    Senior Member Grasshopper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    16,018
    Thanks
    1,467
    Thanked 1,553 Times in 1,112 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    Good luck with the surgery, Venusian, and a hopefully speedy recovery.
    "Beat the price and lose. It's what we do".

    SlimChance, March 2018

  21. The Following User Says Thank You to Grasshopper For This Useful Post:

    Venusian (5th September 2017)

  22. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,903
    Thanks
    775
    Thanked 229 Times in 179 Posts
    Hugs and good karma winging it's way to everyone suffering from this.

  23. #19
    Senior Member Grey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Dublin
    Posts
    9,397
    Thanks
    882
    Thanked 912 Times in 550 Posts
    I'm not a regular reader or follower of your thread, gigilo, because the type of racing you mainly concentrate on is not something I follow. But I am in awe of what you achieve and your contribution here. I hope you can find the help and the strength you will need to get through what lies ahead.

    And Venusian, best of luck to you too, may your operation go smoothly.

  24. #20
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Liverpool
    Posts
    2,940
    Thanks
    403
    Thanked 240 Times in 175 Posts
    Good luck to both Giglio and Venusian.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •